The Night Before Christmas: Political Satire

The Night Before Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House

Pelossi was grinning and played cat and mouse.

The indictments were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Mueller soon would be there.

Republicans were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions—more tax cuts—danced in their heads.

And Oman in her hijab, Alexandria in a suit

Were both getting ready to give Ryan the boot,

When out in the foyer there arose such a clatter

They sprang from their seats to see what was the matter

When, what to their wondering eyes should appear

But a long line of squad cars showing no fear,

With an undaunted leader doing the job.

They knew in a moment he must be dear Bob.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now Manafort, now Cohen, now Roger, now Flynn

You’ve no notion, lads, how much trouble you’re in.

On Jared, Ivanka, Junior, and Trump

You’ll soon leave the White House to live in a dump

Of a prison—no burgers or Cokes—

And the rest of the country will make you their jokes.

A wink at the women and a twist of his head

Soon gave them to know they had nothing to dread.

He took the indictments and filed them just right,

Said Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.